WHY YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE IN TO BULLIES

I recently blogged about bullies and how to protect yourself from bullies and how to help bullies not be bullies. Recent events in the United States reminded me about the importance of not giving into bullies. Bullies do not take responsibility for themselves and try to get others to be responsible for them. This seems to work for them but actually never does. As much as someone tries to avoid being responsible for themselves it never works. The sooner they realize this the better for them [the bullies]. This is why it so important not to give in to bullies as this makes the bullies think that they can avoid being responsible for themselves and make everyone be responsible for them. Giving in to bullies is an unkind thing to do as you are increasing the likelihood that a bully will try bullying again. This is logical and I believe it is obvious to you [and others] so why does it seem so hard to do? It seems that you [and others] are afraid of what will happen if you don’t give into bullies. Well, what might happen?

When we are confronted by someone who is refusing to take responsibility for themselves they are often forceful in what they are saying and challenge anyone to disagree with them. If you disagree they may shout you down and dismiss you. You are likely picking up how anxious and vulnerable they feel. If yoou listen to them and not judge them or react to them, and you want to say somethings, you will know what to say without having to plan what you will say. Your brain will provide you with a non-judgemental caring and confident thing to say. Since what you are saying will be neutral and caring, the bully will have a harder time rejecting you and dominating you and if they do try to bully you it will be less likely to have any impact on you. Indeed, you may feel sad for the bully who only knows how to isolate themselves by bulllying. If you feel anxious when you are being bullied you can tell yourself not to react as it is really all about the bully and not you. This will help you to not join the bully in blaming others and instead you wiill take responsibility for what you say or do. If you can break the cycle of blaming each other the power of the bully will be a lot less and the possibility of harmony returning to human interactions will increase.

Do this and see what happens.