BULLYING AND OUR CHILDREN
A 2022 estimate from the National Bullying Prevention Center indicates that one out of five [19.2%] of children experience bullying at school [from the National Center for Education Statistics, 2022]. A study that includes data from 83 countries showed that 30.5% of adolescents reporting being bullied. A national survey conducted by the US Department of Education found that 100% of students who responded to the survery reported either experiencing, witnessing or being aware of acts of bullying during the 2021-2022 school year. The most common forms of bullying were spreading rumors [13.0%] and being made fun of or called names [11.9%]. Most (39%) of the bullying occurs in the classroom. [I wonder if now most occurs on line thru social media]. Significantly, a meta analysis of 14,083 students found that if a student is excluded from social activities by their peers at school that impact is the same as if they were kicked, punched or slapped every day. The impact is greater if someone bullies and is also bullied.
Bullying one way or another affects all children and seems to be an epidemic that continues to increase. Why is this happening and what can we do about it? The ‘why’ likely reflects how many children feel bad about themselves and then cope with these feelings by taking their feelings out on others. Very frequently, if some one is bullying others they are making the others feel bad to protect themselves from feeling bad about themselves. It is easy to see then the problem of confronting a bully as it is likely to have the bully escalate his/her behavior to keep themselves from having to face their own insecurity and fears. If an adult can listen to the bully and encourage them to share his/her anxiety and feeling bad about themselves then this might help the bully to stop bullying. Meanwhile, what about helping those who are being bullied?
Being bullied can lead to feeling lonely. Talking to someone about being bullied and have them listen to you can help you to feel less lonely. It can also help you to not feel as bad about yourself and then you might decide to calmly say something to the bully and then walk away. It might help to have a friend with you when you do this for additional support. This way you can support yourself and feel better about yourself. Remember that it is very important for you to not be self-critical or isolate yourself as a way of coping with being bullied. Be with others and tell people that you trust, that you are being bullied.
