THE VALUE OF SEEING WHAT HAPPENS

I have been encouraging my patients to trust themselves and choose to “see what happens” in their lives instead of worrying about what might happen. It was last week when I was meeting with one of my patients that this simple understanding came to me…see what happens instead of worrying about what might happen. Frequently, we humans feel that we need to know what is going to happen or even know what is happening and this leads to feeling anxious. The only way we can know what is going to happen is by worrying about what will happen and then every day we know what is going to happen…we will worry. We often try to feel less anxious by: worrying; or by feeling and acting like we are victims: or by blaming others for our problems; or by being angry with anyone who doesn’t agree with us. It is probably obvious to you that these ways of attempting to lower anxiety are not successful.

I have come to realize the value of living our lives so that each moment we are choosing to see what happens. Based on what I described above it can be very difficult to stop worrying and choose to be open to possibilities and see what happens each day of our lives.

Many of my patients are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder [PTSD] and their brains have learned to instantly react to stresses based on past traumatic experiences. These “reactions” almost always lead to worries and feeling stressed. These reactions are instantaneous and happen before we are aware of them. It is therefore very hard to stop worrying and to stop feeling stressed. I am able to help my patients to not react to past stresses using medications that can block the brain’s reaction to stresses. This frees up my patients to have much less stress and they are then over time able to choose to be less stressed and to start to see what happens each day. They discover that it is possible to set aside anxiety and worries and focus on each moment by seeing what happens. The ability to set aside worries is helped for people who have confidence and trust in a therapist.

I am convinced that the secret to happiness is being open to possibilities and choosing to see what happens every day of our lives. What do you think?